Final Bow
by zoesaurusrex
Summary: Sev is angsty about Lily. T for minor language, James/Lily and I s'pose onesided Sev/Lily.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter; I'm just using the characters for my own nefarious fangirl ends.

--

_Lily, don't cry. I know  
You're trying your hardest  
And the hardest part is letting go  
Of the nights we shared_

Severus Snape's black eyes stared across the Great Hall in a desperate attempt to keep from gluing his eyes to the beautiful redheaded young woman to his right. The seventeen-year-old boy nervously adjusted his dress robes, finally giving in to his urge.

_But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright  
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but I want it so_

The dark eyes that held an almost constant glare traveled to the green eyes that had haunted his dreams since he was nine or ten. Her red hair had been curled into large ringlets for the night, but Severus knew her hair had never been able to hold a curl for very long. He felt his eyes start to water at the memory of how James fucking Potter had ruined their relationship with his stupid prank in fifth year.

_Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
(I know he's there)  
You're probably hanging out and making eyes_

Severus knew that Lily had finally accepted one of James' constant proposals. Hell, everyone in the entire school knew; it was huge news. Severus also knew that, for reasons unknown, Lily was separated from James for the moment. Severus finally cut off his gaze when Lily glared straight at him. He'd never been able to stand down her glare. He looked at his feet and then ahead of him, catching sight of James, heading over with a giant smile on his face.

_I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes_

Severus watched as James bowed to his date, asking in a regal tone if she would like to join him for the dance (which was slow, Severus noted). Lily smiled, looking as if she were on the verge of giggles, and accepted, taking James hand and following him onto the dance floor. Severus felt something rise in his throat; he wasn't sure if it was tears or words, but either way he held it down.

_Because these words were never easier for me to say  
Or her to second guess_

Severus had wanted, for years, to tell Lily how he felt about her. It would have been easier if, well, it wasn't love. The fact that, whenever possible, he was upside-down didn't help much. He often wondered what she would have said if he had ever gotten the courage to say those three words to her. Would she have accepted him, or would she laugh in his face, sneer and walk away? He dreamed of the former.

_I guess  
That I can live without you_

Severus tried to convince himself for weeks, months, even, that he could get past Lily hating him. That he could live without her. That what he felt whenever she was near him wasn't love, it was faux love. Love created just because she was the first, and only, girl who had even come within a ten-foot radius.

_And this will be the first time in a week  
That I'll talk to you_

Severus bravely walked out to the dance floor, not quite sure what he was planning on doing. He walked straight up to James and Lily; she was laughing at some dumb joke he had said. Her green eyes held something between hate and surprise when Severus pulled James from her. He opened his mouth and began to speak.

_And I can't speak  
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep  
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek_

At least, that's what he planned on doing. He planned on opening his mouth and telling her exactly how he felt; all that came out, however, was  
"Lily…"  
His voice cracked, his eyes filled with tears. He hadn't slept well since fifth year when she decided she no longer desired having Severus as a friend. Lately, though, it had been worse. He had been in the classroom when James had posed the question for the millionth time; Lily had thought for a moment before giving him her answer. James had grinned real wide and planted a kiss right on her cheek. He had then pushed right past a stunned Severus Snape; Lily had brought a hand to her cheek, a small smile on those lips.

_And I got the point that I should leave you alone  
But we both know that I'm not that strong_

"Severus, go away. I don't need or want your company. For the last fucking time, leave me alone." Lily screamed at her former best friend. Severus stood there like a fool, his mouth open, trying to form words. He knew he should leave, he should craw under his bed and die like the rat he was. He knew he should have just left her alone when she had rejected him that night in fifth year, but he had never been strong enough for that.

_And I can live without you  
But without you I'll be miserable_

Severus stared at her for a second before nodding, ignoring James shouting at him to stop harassing Lily. He sighed, pushing back the tears until he was out of the Great Hall, preferably in the Slytherin Boys Dorm. He muttered the password, running straight up to his bed. His eyes were blurry and they burned with the salt. Severus face planted right into his sheets, pulling the curtains around his bed closed and he sobbed as quietly as possible.

_And I can live without you  
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best_


End file.
